Brogamats

Dan Abramson5 Comments

Manage your sweat

What men lack in innate flexibility, they make up for an innate ability to drench things in sweat. Most yoga classes will provide towels. Use them. If you are a next-level sweat monster, get an extra-thick, extra-grippy mat. If even that is not enough, you can get one of those waffle-y rubberized things that the guys in the backs of restaurants stand on while doing dishes.

Ogle, but ogle with tact

Given that the internet now contains approximately 3 billion pictures of girls in yoga pants, we assume many guys sign up for yoga largely for the view. Which is fine, just know you're not as sneaky as you think. Don't ogle during downward dog - you will get busted.

Don't be a yoga hero

Start off with a yoga class that targets 'all levels' and let your instructor know that you're a newbie - they'll give you extra assistance. Know that experienced women in class will do most poses better than you, with the notable exception a pose called "sandhita kalaga" which roughly translated from Sanscrit means "opening the pickle jar."

Clip your toenails

Did you know that some women are so concerned about their toenails that they will pay a professional to maintain them? It's true! Good money, too! And here you are cutting your toenails twice a year with a pair of scissors. Change that. Your toenails are going to be three feet (inches) from someone's eyes. Velociraptor style talons will impress no one. 

The Exhaust Issue

When you go to yoga, your gastrointestinal tract will be subjected to new and novel contortions and pressures. And two hours beforehand, you may very well eat a burrito of questionable origin and wash it down with two Michelob Ultras. Unless your toots sound like an Enya chorus or a chanted mantra, you've got some clenching in your future. 

Recommended attire

If you're really not sure what to wear, we recommend a single-shoulder strap onesie in the style popularized by Andre the Giant back in the 1980's. Comfortable, practical, and with a "caveman-chic" fashion sensibiltiy.

 

Written by Paul Simmons, Dan Abramson, and illustrated by Kevin Leung, friends of the yoga evangelists, Brogamats

And check out some of our other Brogamats creations:

Yoga Joes

Burrito Yoga Bag

www.brogamats.com/blog/dudesguidetoyoga